youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
