We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
