There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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