I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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