So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
