One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
