Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
