why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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