I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
