a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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