I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
