I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
