areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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