I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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