We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
