Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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