I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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