i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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