i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
