...so i touched it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
