I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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