I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
