hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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