Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
