One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize