ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
