Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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