i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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