why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
