Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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