i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
