there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
