Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
