I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
