when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize