and she was petting her beer can
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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