He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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