mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
