Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
