Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
