I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
