Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize