Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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