He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
