Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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