ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
