Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
