my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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