dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
