So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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