I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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