hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
