I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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