Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
