I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
