Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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