How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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