areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize