Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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