with your own penis?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize