he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
