The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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