I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
