Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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