i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
my poor anus
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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