so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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