the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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