so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
