The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
