Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
