he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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