apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
