i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
