He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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