I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
