I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
