nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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